I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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