We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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