Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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