i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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