i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
