We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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