Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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