why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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