My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
