he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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