So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
