I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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