If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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