god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
