Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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