Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize