Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize