Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
