I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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