Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
