I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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