i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
