I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
