mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize