i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
