would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
