i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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