apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize