i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
50% drunk capacity currently
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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