go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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