this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
