Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The Olympian is in my bed
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