She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
