she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize