went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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