We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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