she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
