i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize