oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
