I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
