I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
