You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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