Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
