New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
