we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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