Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
