Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
