Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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  (703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr
  Replies (30) Good night (5520) Bad night (515)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing

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  (774): i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing http://tfl.nu/cwrn
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (3990)
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  (310): View more from California

  Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

  (310): View more from California

  Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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  (310): Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her. (310): Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse. http://tfl.nu/0qfy
  Replies (18) Good night (4566) Bad night (1640)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

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  (419): Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away http://tfl.nu/g1qo
  Replies (19) Good night (5382) Bad night (868)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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  (508): the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful. http://tfl.nu/u6l8
  Replies (14) Good night (775) Bad night (5806)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

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  (785): So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again. http://tfl.nu/nxev
  Replies (16) Good night (743) Bad night (5729)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE

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  (614): Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE http://tfl.nu/myo8
  Replies (21) Good night (4067) Bad night (1545)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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  (740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj
  Replies (24) Good night (5345) Bad night (2349)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some

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  (469): I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some http://tfl.nu/99sq
  Replies (5) Good night (1877) Bad night (469)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.

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  (248): Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it. http://tfl.nu/f0ca
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (438)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant

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  (407): It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant http://tfl.nu/td2c
  Replies (9) Good night (396) Bad night (1024)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

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  (206): Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me http://tfl.nu/vrj3
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (452)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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  (+44): are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper? http://tfl.nu/40vp
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (277)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

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  (516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (240)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.

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  (732): this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like. http://tfl.nu/91y5
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (572)

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