Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.