i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize