that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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