how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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