This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its about making memories worth repressing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
