He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
