you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
