Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
