Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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