i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
