You can't special order awesome
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
