He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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